Status: Flashback Blog!!

I started writing this blog last year and I had it saved as a draft.  I enjoyed it when i came back to it so here it is:  the previously unreleased, digitally re-mastered, added bonus features,  new-in-box, no reserve, Portland bicycle squabble blog:

Below are links to three stories involving bicyclists and drivers getting into fights in Portland, Oregon.  They all happened in about a week’s time.  What really strikes me as unusual in these stories is that two of the automobile drivers were avid bicyclists themselves.  Here is a brief summary of each story in the order they occured:

The first story involves a 47-year old long time cycling advocate who was driving with his family.  He saw a cyclist run a red light and proceeded to catch up with him and yell at  him for making other cyclists look bad.  Soon the cyclist challenged him to a fight and struck the man’s car with his bike.  Man gets out, gets hit with bike, a passer-by knocks the cyclist down with one punch, commotion ensues.

Here’s a summary of the next story, per Sara: A biker is biking along, a car speeds by, biker yells at the car to “Slow down you gashole”, the driver freaks out and turns his car back at him, biker jumps off his bake, driver runs over the bike, the biker jumps on the hood of the car and hangs on while the driver speeds around trying to knock the guy off. Oh, and the driver was drunk.

Here is the lead to the third story, linked above: “A bike courier on his way home from work got into a scuffle Tuesday night with a driver who yelled at him for not wearing a helmet.” The driver was also a cyclist and worked at a downtown bike shop.

So if you wanna talk about Cincinnatians being rowdy and violent…. at least we’re only like that towards people who are different than us!  (present company (me) excluded)

k bye miss you.

http://blog.oregonlive.com/breakingnews/2008/07/angry_bicyclists_gang_up_on_th.html

http://www.oregonlive.com/news/oregonian/index.ssf?/base/news/1216094102198390.xml&coll=7

http://blog.oregonlive.com/breakingnews/2008/07/another_driver_another_cyclist.html

Love,

The City.

NERD GIRL

I had to go to the tech place on campus to get my new little computer to connect to the wireless internets at school. Turns out I had to change my password because mine wasn’t strong enough to keep out unwanted internets.

So I called the number and had them reset it.Then the real-life Tech girl at the table let me use her laptopper to change my password in the metaverse.

Some time during all this, she’s talking about how she saw a preview of Windows 7. So I told her I hated Vista and that I was just going to use a command-line OS forever.

Then I try to connect on my netbooger with the new password, and voila. It works. Thanks! So then I leave to do some work and my password won’t work. So I try the old reset password… and it worked. So I’m thinking that girl wanted me to come back like hellp.. and to hear more DOS jokes over dinner.

Too bad she was a huge nerd! Just kidding.. she seemed nice.. but really though she was too nerdy. I’m the one talking about DOS though, so who’s the real nerd here?

Palin and Biden Agree on Gay Marriage!

Palin sites hospital visits and signing contracts as things same-sex couples have rights to.  Biden says he does not support changing the definition of marriage according to people’s own beliefs.  They both acted like they agreed so that they didn’t have to actually state their stance.  Why is it that neither party will just (is this a sexist statement?) “man up” and say what they mean sometimes.

Palin also does not support another holocaust.  Good job!

She also said John McCain won a war.  I don’t remember that…

Woo Biden cried!  Take that heartless Republicans!

Uh Oh Palin quoted Reagan twice at least!

Oh man, close debate.

Love, The Country.

Hate the city?

I’m sitting here at Habanero drinking a beer because stuff is stupid.  I took the bus up to UC to read a volleyball story.  It was great.  Girls walk around town lookin all sexy, and dudes rap while riding motorcycles.

There are really kids here speaking Spanish.  I like hearing people in public speaking a different language because then I can not look at the people funny and act like I always hear people speaking different languages.  Sometimes I’ll laugh when they laugh so they think I can understand them.

Anyway, the reason I’m here drinking the beer is because 3 different buses passed me even though I wanted to get on.  The first one was at a stop light, so I guess she wasn’t really supposed to let me on since it wasn’t a bus stop.  I walked up with a hopeful look on my face and she just looked at me with a “nope” kind of look.  Then I walked away all salty-like.  So I walked down Clifton Ave. and sat at the bus stop.  Two buses came up but they turned prematurely.  They usually stop at that stop as far as I know.  So I walked down the block to Sitwell’s, where the next stop is. I got there before the 18 bus did and as it approached I made eye contact with the driver.  I even gave him a head-nod.  He just looked at me blankly before veering away from the bus stop. Then I walked down the street crumpling my bus pass/student ID card in my hand cursing audibly like one of the many wackos in clifton.  I guess that’s why I like this neighborhood.  It’s where my kind live: the wackos.  I can just be my disgruntled self and I won’t seem very out of the ordinary.

Now it’s rush hour and the buses that pass here are quite full of humans. I don’t want to ride the full buses! Mother fucking flipper. You know what else? The ladies walking to the Yoga studio wear those pants that look nice on the backside…but there’s nothing back there! This Yoga thing must be some anti-ass conspiracy. Hold on, wait here’s one… Nope, no ass.  Stupid Yoga.

Now some old white man has an Indian in handcuffs.  Wait, no, the Indian just had his hands behind his back. Actually that guy wasn’t white.  He was just one of those Indian guys with white hair and pale skin for an Indian.  They are just going to the Indian restaurant.

Woman on a bike going into Yoga studio. No ass.  Man walking to Yoga studio. No ass.  Young lady walking from Yoga studio…no ass.  Two more older women, no asses!  Jeez.

I just gave a girl a totally weird look through the window because I was stretching my back, laughing, and drinking a beer all at the same time.  My smile must have followed the contour of the pint glass, or must have seemed to.  I was a contorted, squinty-eyed weirdo drinking a drink and glaring a glare.

Skateboards are dumb.  Also some guy on a skateboard rode by and looked in while waving his arms around.  His BMX friend laughed, and so did I.  Dorks.

Benny and the Jets came on the radio.  I really like Elton John.  That isn’t a joke.  One time his song “Circle of Life” came on and I asked an older co-worker, Richard, if it was Elton John.  I said I thought it was.  He said, “I don’t think so… Elton John is better than this.”  I remembered that it was on the Lion King soundtrack and it was funny because man, that was Elton John.  Anyway, my point is that there aren’t many songs that you can play after Elton John that don’t lead to disappointment.  If you’re a DJ, definitely don’t play 3 Doors Down after Elton John.  Dumbass.

Anyway, Metro keeps trying to raise the fares and city council tries not to let them.  Metro says they need to do it to stay in business.  Council says they can cut back on spending and manage their money better.  The City says fucking stop the bus so people can get on it!  Passengers put money into the slots.  Yeah, that’s what those are for.  Then maybe you can hire some drivers that aren’t douche nozzles.  Then maybe more people will want to ride.

Case in point: I like to ride the bus when the driver is cool.  Some of their drivers are coo.

Dear people,

pump your bike tires up and ride on the right side of the road.  I mean, seriously.

Here comes the skate boarder.  he’s coming in… I think he’s just using the bathroom.  Them kids that just hang out on the street all the time.  I wish I was one of them.  His friends are sitting behind me talking.  Someone got a job.

Previous experience tells me that if I walk home now I’ll have to pee about half way through my journey.  I haven’t seen any buses lately.  Maybe I’ll hit the bathroom then wait for a bus.  Hopefully the fucker picks me up.

Love,

The City.

A Liberal’s Letter

Dear Government,

Please stop the war, raise our taxes, and give us universal healthcare.  If you don’t, we’ll make signs or move to Canada.  Don’t get me wrong, all these cheap over the counter medicines and supplements are nice to have.  But do I want to see another TV commercial advertising a prescription drug that I can’t afford because I don’t have insurance?  No, Government, the answer is no.

Damn, Government.  Where did we go wrong with you?  I mean, you were such a promising young lad.  A revolutionary.  Even popular with all the ladies…eventually.

Anyway, I hope you’ll understand what I’m trying to say.  And remember, you are not America.  We am.

Love, The City.

Sorry about the exclamation points.

Step One: Admitting the Problem.

Hello.  My name is Brian and I am a compulsive bicycle buyer. 

That is not me in the picture, that is a bike.  I paid $25 at a yardsale for the bike and a bike rack for the car.  I already have a rack on my car but it’s pink.  So the purchase was justified.

So I’m replacing a few parts with some slightly more modern parts, mostly for aesthetic purposes.  I had extra bike parts just laying around…see, I have a problem.  I mean why weren’t those parts on their bikes where they belong?  Well, that’s a different twelve-step program, my friend.

I’m selling my old bike so this is going to be my only bike for now.  Then it will be my winter bike, so I guess I won’t buy another bike for quite a while.  I mean unless I see one for sale or something!

New Spot.

This is the first post of my new and improved blog.  A few of you may have read some of the original LTC blog at blogspot.  If you read it and liked it, please remove it from your bookmarks and add this one!  Topics include things I love, and the city.  Click the ABOUT tab to learn more.

Love,

the city.